by Tabitha Rhys
Blog of best-selling authors JJ & TA Ellis - Featuring Bitzes, Tours Reviews and Reveals for indie authors in ALL Genres
Showing posts with label amwriting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label amwriting. Show all posts
EXCERPT CHAPTER 5 - ANGUISH
We've got two short excerpts this time! One shows the rapport between Ben and his best friend/cousin Abigail. They are closer than siblings and she is his main confidant. Their relationship is special and plays a part in her future (In the contemporary romance Stormy Seas: Abigail's Story)
The second excerpt shows a bit of relationship building between Ben and JC before the final get together. Enjoy!
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“I thought it might be a good idea to steer clear of Chris for a while. I decided to write instead.”
“You reacted better than I would have,” Ben chuckled. “I probably would have stewed over it for a month.”
Abigail shrugged without looking up from her paper. “They’re just boobs and if he sees them now and likes them, he might want to see them again someday.”
“Like you don’t.”
“Ah! I’m offended. I’m sweet and innocent, dear cousin. Heck I’m almost fifteen and I’ve never even had a crush on a girl.”
“Yeah,” Abby laughed. “But you’ve kissed a boy who gave you a boner.”
“Shh, it’s a secret,” he said with wide, innocent eyes and a wink. “Can I draw while you write, or do you want to be alone?”
“You know the answer to that. Go get your stuff.”
**********
JC looked straight ahead through the windshield, he couldn’t quite bring himself to make eye contact. “I just needed to apologize…for how I ended things. I should have told you in person and not with that stupid letter.”
“That hurt…a lot,” Ben admitted, “But I accept your apology.”
JC’s gaze finally swung over to Ben’s and held. “I lied,” he said softly. “I’m not doing good. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t wonder if people assume I’m gay. Or if someone can guess, when I say your name, that we’ve kissed. There isn’t an hour that goes by that I’m not wondering how I can ignore my feelings for you. But on the other hand, I don’t have the strength to not care what people will think. I don’t have the power to admit what’s right in front of me.”
“Good,” Ben said with a smile. “I’m glad you’re miserable and I’m not trying to be mean. I…I just hope that if these things keep lying in your mind that you will eventually realize how much easier it is to just go with your gut and love me.”
“You’re an ass,” JC chuckled. “But I’m not so sure that will ever happen.”
“I can wait,” Ben said with as smile. “But not forever. Someday I will meet someone new.” He hoped he sounded convincing because he couldn’t imagine ever finding anyone else.
JC stared out the windshield again. “Maybe you should just try to do that.”
“I’d rather wait for a while. I have faith in you.”
“So, what have you been up to?” JC asked to change the subject as he fidgeted uncomfortably. And it worked, he and Ben talked about what had been going on in their lives, almost like they were best friends again. But their time was soon interrupted by Abby’s knock on the window. “You’ve got about ten minutes to wrap it up guys. Mom and Dad will be here soon.”
“Can I call…or maybe write to you sometimes?” Ben asked hopefully.
“You can write, but I can’t guarantee I’ll answer. It’s too painful.”
“Okay,” Ben agreed. “I understand.”
“I’d better go,” JC said, reaching for the door handle.
“Wait!” Ben said, grabbing his hand and pulling him close. “Goodbye James.” His lips came down in a kiss that went from sweet to earth shattering before they pulled apart and JC stumbled from the van.
“Goodbye, Benjamin,” he breathed, turning and heading back to where his parents would be waiting for him.
“You okay cousin?” Abby asked, breaking into his reverie.
“For now,” Ben murmured. “For now.”
EXCERPT CHAPTER 4 - ANGUISH: BEN'S STORY
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If he wasn’t wrapped up in one of Abby’s stories, he was busy drawing or creating clever programs on the computer. And after a December 27th snowstorm, the weather cleared and warmed up enough for them to go riding. As much as Abby wanted to go to the fort, Ben kept her away. He knew the memories of kissing JC would bring some of the darkness back.
At that point, darkness was being reserved for his drawings. It seemed war and death were his new favorite themes. But now, the thought of Abby leaving in a few hours made his heart ache every minute until she left. He was definitely looking forward to summer.
“No backing out, Ben. You’re coming to Nevada to visit in June,” Abby stressed as they finally walked into the warm and inviting ranch house.
“I’ll be there. We’re going to have so much fun.”
“Are you ready, Abigail?” Ethan asked. “We need to get the rental car back before five.”
“Yeah, I guess so,” she sighed. “We really need to move here.”
Ben hugged her tight. “I’ll see you soon. Call me when you get home.”
“I will, Bennie Boy." With a kiss to his cheek, she grabbed her bag from by the door and followed her dad to the car.
“Hey Ben, wanna come play a game with me?” Dylan asked from the kitchen doorway. “Please? You’ve been so busy with JC and Abby lately.”
“I’m sorry, brat. Not right now. Tomorrow or the next day, okay?”
“Yeah sure,” Dylan murmured softly. “You never do anything when Abby leaves.”
“Come on, little brother,” Russell said. "Ben just misses having her here. Why don’t you, me and Logan go tune up the snowmobiles so we can use them when the big storm hits this weekend.”
Ben walked slowly up the stairs feeling like the lowest form of human. How hard would it have been for him to play a kids' game with his six-year-old little brother? But somehow he just couldn’t. He wanted to be alone, he had to be alone.
He knew it was coming the minute he opened his bedroom door. But as hard as he tried to turn around and run out to the barnyard to join his brothers, his feet just wouldn’t cooperate. As if he had no control over them, he walked to his bed and lay down.
That suffocating, drowning, gut-wrenching feeling swept over him for the first time in a week. And he welcomed it with every particle of his being. As uncomfortable as it was, the sense of normalcy brought a smile to his face – until a new feeling hit him. Anger. Steady unwavering anger settled into his chest. It was anger at himself for being so loathsome, at JC for hurting him and at Abby for leaving him. It was a rage he wanted to scream to the world but couldn’t.
EXCERPT CHAPTER 3 - ANGUISH
Welcome to excerpt #3 from Anguish: Ben's Story - during a visit home, JC must decide if he can love Ben and admit to him that he is gay or if he will still hide his true feelings. As always, remember that attitudes about being gay are much different now than they were in the late 1990's in small Rocky Mountain West towns.
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“So, what movie are we seeing?” JC asked as they sat down at the table in the pizza restaurant that was surrounded by doors leading to the multiplex theaters.
“I thought we could see Fantasy of Night. The theater gets dark so if we sit in the very back, maybe we can hold hands or something.”
JC smiled. “Is this our first date?”
“Yeah…I mean if you want it to be”
“Sounds good to me. I just wish we didn’t have to hide it.”
“Yeah me too," Ben sighed. “And maybe someday in the future, we won’t.”
“I hope so. But somehow I don’t ever see it happening. And that’s what is so hard about making a decision. Do I really want to choose to be gay and let myself fall in love with you only to have to hide it and live with such a secret my whole life?”
Ben felt like someone was stabbing his heart. JC didn’t seem to get it at all. “It’s not a choice. Either you are or you aren’t. The way I see it is that I can live how my heart tells me to and put up with the backlash, or I can live in a loveless marriage, deceiving a good woman… which also adds up to living a secret life.”
JC had tears in his eyes when he looked up at Ben. “So, we’re damned if we do and damned if we don’t?”
“Yeah, pretty much. But your attitude about it can make or break your happiness. I can’t live without true love. I refuse to.”
JC’s head dropped to hide his tears. “My name is JC and I’m gay. I think I’m falling in love with an amazing boy but I’m afraid I might be too much of a coward to live the way he needs me to.”
“I’ll help you,” Ben murmured, aching to reach out and touch his friend. “Come on, my dad is working in the kitchen, his office is free.”
As soon as the door closed behind them, Ben locked it. He pulled JC into a hug and let him cry. When he pulled himself together, Ben was there with tissues and then a kiss.
“Is somebody in there?” came Cole Harper’s voice. The two boys quickly pulled apart and Ben unlocked the door. “Sorry, Dad. JC’s upset about going back to California after Christmas so I thought we should talk about it in private.”
Cole nodded and turned to JC. “I take it you don’t like it there, son?”
“No sir,” JC murmured. “The whole family can’t wait to come back here in November.”
“Well, we’ll be happy to have you back. I know Benjamin misses you.”
“Thank you sir. Maybe we should go order our pizza now.”
“Yeah, come on,” Ben agreed, dragging JC out of the room. If his dad only knew how much he missed his ‘best friend’ when he was gone.
As they walked back out to the restaurant, JC turned to Ben with a sad look. “And so the lies begin.”
EXCERPT CHAPTER 2 - ANGUISH
Here is an excerpt from Chapter 2 of Anguish. We are now getting into the depression part of the story. Ben has a unique, mature, yet injured mind that gives him wishes and thoughts that might shock others.
Please, if you are having a hard time, are battling depression and/or anxiety or need help with your mental health in some way, reach out. There are doctors, friends, teachers, and organizations that are there to help you. Don't give up!
You can pre-order Anguish today!
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“Hey kiddo, you okay? You’ve been up here for quite a while.”
His trademark bright grin lit his face and he leapt up off the bed. “I’m fine! I talked to JC and read for a while,” he said, pointing to the open book on his bed. “Is it dinner time? I’m starving.”
Evelyn Harper smiled at her son. She was glad to see him being his usual self despite the fact that he wouldn’t be playing football this year. “Well, since your dad is working the late shift, I figured you, your brothers and I could go have dinner with him then catch a movie.”
Free pizza and movies were one advantage of his parents owning the local entertainment hub, Movie and a Pizza Place. Not that he was really in the mood for it now. “Sure, that sounds great. Just let me go to the bathroom first.”
Ben hurried out of the room, more to gather his scattered thoughts than to go to the bathroom.
“Oh son,” Evelyn called after him. “You’ll have to use my bathroom. There’s something wrong with your toilet.”
He backtracked to his parent’s bedroom and hurried through to the bathroom. After deciding to use the facilities after all, he stood in front of the sink washing his hands and looking in the mirror. A sudden glint of metal caught his eye and after drying his hands, he picked up his dad’s straight razor, an antique for sure. Twirling it around between his fingers, he felt his heart beat calm. He’d often wondered what the rush of pain and lost blood would feel like as the sharp blade guided over his skin.
“Bennie, hurry up. I have to pee before we go too,” came Dylan’s voice from beyond the bathroom door.
Ben set the razor gently on the counter and turned to the door, releasing the lock. “Come on in, brat.”
“What was taking you so long?” Dylan asked as he hurried over to the toilet.
Ben was back at the sink, looking at himself in the mirror. “I was thinking I might try out Dad’s razor,”
Dylan laughed and tried to push Ben out of the way so he could wash his own hands. “You’d probably cut your head off with Dad’s razor.”
“Yeah brat, you’re probably right.” At least then he’d know what it felt like…
“Don’t call me brat,” Dylan pouted.
“It just means I love you,” Ben chuckled. “Now if I stop calling you brat, then you can be upset. Come on, let’s go.” He ushered his youngest brother out of their parents’ bedroom suite and into the hallway where the rest of their siblings joined them.
“Come on boys. Dad takes his dinner break in half an hour.” The brothers tramped down the stairs with Ben in the lead, his bright smile shining like a beacon to light their way.
EXCERPT CHAPTER 1 - ANGUISH
Welcome to Anguish: For those of you who know my Harper's Rock series, you will know who Ben is. He is the oldest Harper Brother and I have saved his story for last because it ended first. I hope you enjoy!
Here is the first excerpt from Chapter 1
Please keep in mind that the attitude and perception of gay youth were much different in this time period and in small-town mountain west during this time period.
Please keep in mind that the attitude and perception of gay youth were much different in this time period and in small-town mountain west during this time period.
November 1, 1997 - Journal entry
My name is Benjamin Harper but everyone calls me Ben. I’m writing in this journal not really because I want to, but because my doctor recommended it. You see, it appears that Ben Harper doesn’t have the perfect life that everyone thinks he does. Believe it or not, Ben Harper is mentally ill. He suffers from depression…I suffer from depression. I’ve admitted that now. I know I do, I just hate everything about it - when I say it, when I read it and especially when I write it down.
My name is Benjamin Harper but everyone calls me Ben. I’m writing in this journal not really because I want to, but because my doctor recommended it. You see, it appears that Ben Harper doesn’t have the perfect life that everyone thinks he does. Believe it or not, Ben Harper is mentally ill. He suffers from depression…I suffer from depression. I’ve admitted that now. I know I do, I just hate everything about it - when I say it, when I read it and especially when I write it down.
The doctor said I need to not only write about day to day stuff but also about past events that have made me who I am today. Truthfully, it is like my life didn’t really exist until 1996, the year I turned fourteen. Although, I do see the times before that when the depression and anxiety reared its head.
Maybe if I write about what happened in 1996 I’ll be able to figure out why I never really felt alive until then. In a flash, my life changed forever the summer I turned fourteen because that was when I realized I was in love with my best friend. JC Croft…well, he’s adorable and kind. But the best part, the best part is that I recently found out that he loves me too.
July 29, 1996 Harper’s Rock, Wyoming
“Hey man, it’s not going to be the same without you here,” Ben told his best friend as they carried the last of his suitcases out to the waiting truck.
JC grunted. “Tell me about it, man. I’m never going to find another good friend in California . I really don’t believe a good ol’ Wyoming boy is going to have much in common with a bunch of California beach bums.”
Ben couldn’t help but laugh at the exaggerated look of horror on his friend’s face. “Yeah, but just think about all of the pretty little beach bunnies. Maybe you’ll find a girlfriend instead.”
“Uh…sure…sure." JC shrugged and turned to face his friend’s cousin, Abigail, who was standing nearby. “Make sure he stays on the straight and narrow for me, Abby. Lord knows what he’ll do without me.”
“You know I will,” she said, tossing a look at her cousin. His head was ducked which most likely meant that he was blushing and his face was probably as red as his hair. “Take care, JC.”
“Thanks Abby,” he said, turning back to Ben, his hand thrust out to shake. “Everyone else is in the truck. I…I’d better get going.”
“Okay," Ben said softly, clasping his friend’s hand. As quick as a flash they pulled each other into a hug and then it was over. JC rounded the vehicle and hopped inside. His dad started the engine and pulled away. The two boys, who’d been best friends since Kindergarten, waved until they could no longer see each other.
Abigail stood, watching her cousin as several different emotions played across his face. The one that finally settled in scared her. They’d also been best friends for their whole childhood and she had never seen such a look of terror in his eyes. Why was he so scared? But before she could ask, he took off at a dead run. Her first thought was that he was running after JC, but when she saw him veer off the road and head for the fields that would take him to town in a short cut, she knew something was wrong.
Quickly thanking God that she hadn’t worn her sandals that hot July morning, she took off after him. She knew her cousin well. He was headed for the local playground, which was his closest thinking spot when in town. As her tennis shoes slapped the hardened, dry ground underneath the brush she couldn’t help but hope that this early in the morning the seldom used playground would indeed be empty. Her highly charged, very emotional cousin was headed for a breakdown.
Momentarily he disappeared over the hill that led down into the playground and when she crested it, Ben was settling himself into a rubber and chain swing. She could hear his moaning sobs.
As hard as she tried, Abby just couldn’t imagine what was going on. Of course Ben would miss JC, but this was a bit extreme even for her tightly wound cousin. “Ben. What’s wrong?”
Looking at the ground he was gasping for breath, for control. “I…I…” he tried to say.
“It’s okay,” Abby assured him. “Take your time and catch your breath. I know you’ll miss JC but everything will be…”
A cry tore from Ben’s throat as he looked up at Abigail and slid out of the swing and onto his knees in the gravel.
“Don’t you understand?” he cried. “It’s not that…It’s not… I love him, Abby. I know for sure, one hundred percent, I’m in love with my best friend. Good God, I am gay.” His last three words came out as a whisper.
There had been times when Abby had wondered. Ben was always so obvious in his affection for JC, but it seemed so natural for them that no one ever batted an eye. And of course, she only spent summers with them so she didn’t know how they acted around school friends. God, so much made sense now. She often confided in him about her current crushes but he never did. He and JC never talked about girls. “Yes,” she murmured. “You do love him.”
“I do. God help me, I do.” The tears flowed freely as he rocked back and forth on his knees.
Abby eased herself down next to him. "It’s going to be okay, Ben. We both knew you were different, special. Is it really that big of a surprise?”
“Yes… No…” Ben looked up at her. “You knew?”
“I had an inkling,” she nodded. "But it’s not like I thought about it much.”
“Deep down, I think I’ve always known,” he whispered. “But what I never knew was that I was in love with the one person I could never have. The guy who is moving to California as we speak. I’ll probably never see him again. God, what guy would understand that his best friend wanted so desperately to kiss him goodbye?”
“I’m sorry,” Abby said softly, hugging him. “But I think JC might be gay too. He might not mind so much.”
“Thanks Abs, but please don’t. I can’t get my hopes up. If my heart becomes any more broken, I don’t know if I can… Who wants to live with this kind of pain or confusion, or whatever it is?”
“Okay,” Abby agreed quietly. “But that’s no way to exist. Sometimes you need to take a chance.”
“Please don’t,” he murmured again. “Enough of this crying shit. It’s time to suck it up.”
Abby smiled and stood up. “What should we do now? We have another half-hour until we need to meet Aunt Evie and Uncle Cole at the diner for lunch.”
Ben had his usual sweet grin on his face again but his turmoil was far from over. “How about we race each other to the Soda Fountain for some ice cream? The loser buys the cones and we spoil our lunch.”
“You’re on!” Abby said, turning to run.
“Hey Abby, wait.”
"What is it?”
Ben held out his pinky finger to her. “Cousin pinky swear that you will never tell anyone that I’m gay. I’ll do it myself when I get to know the new…and the old... me better.”
“We haven’t cousin pinky sworn since we were ten,” she whispered. “I know this must be important to you so of course, I’ll keep your secret. Forever.”
Abigail reached out, her pinky wrapping around Ben's, their hands moving in an up and down motion.
EXCERPT CHAPTER 5 - LETTING GO
Chapter 5 excerpt and we are winding down. Release day is in about two weeks. I'm getting excited to introduce you to JC and Trevor. I hope you fall in love with them too! Pre-order now! ALL OTHER RETAILERS ---- AMAZON
You can also find Ben and JC's story for Pre-Order (due Feb 21). AMAZON
By the time JC was done taking pictures he was steeped in guilt. Why, every time he had a new experience, did he wonder what Ben would think about it. He was in paradise with the most amazing man he’d met in years, one he felt comfortable saying the words I love you too, and here he was thinking about Ben. But he and Ben had talked many times about the different kinds of places they wanted to see together…and this was one of those kinds of places.
Sometimes he wished that he and Ben had only been best friends, that they had never fallen in love. But that in itself brought more guilt because he wouldn’t trade their time together for anything in the world. His childhood had made him who he was today. He was a successful, well-loved teacher, a father to two amazing kids, and what some said was a good man. His main fault was his inability to let go of things he’d once loved. But at least he had loved. At least he was capable of love – complete, absolute love.
“Hey, how long have you been back?” Trevor asked as he walked into the main room of their villa.
“Not long. Are you ready for lunch?”
“Yeah…is everything okay?”
“Yeah, after last night how could it not be.” But JC knew he didn’t sound convincing.
“We’ll talk while we eat,” Trevor said matter-of-factly.
They decided to eat their lunch outside on the beach. It was a beautiful, sunny day out and the ocean breeze was light and would keep them cool.
Trevor passed JC the sweetener for his tea then brought up his boyfriend’s mood. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m pretty sure you won’t want to hear it.”
“Now that you’ve said that I definitely want to hear it.”
With a sigh, JC set his burger back on his plate and looked out over the ocean. “I’m doing it again. I was walking along the beach taking pictures and wishing you were there with me…you know, the whole romantic scene of a couple walking along the beach hand in hand. But then my thoughts shifted, and I wondered what Ben would think of this place. What it would have been like if we’d been able to come here.”
Trevor shifted in his seat and cleared his throat. He was obviously uncomfortable with what his boyfriend was saying. “I…Do you wish you’d come here with him instead of me?”
“No!” JC was quick to answer. “No, not at all. I only want to be here with you, but I wonder what things would have been like if it had ended differently for Ben. It’s the same old shit that gets in the way every fucking time!”
“I’m not going to say that it doesn’t feel like a knife was sliced across my chest just now,” Trevor said softly. “But I understand what you mean.”
“I’m sorry.”
Trevor nodded and took a bite of his food. Not that it had any taste anymore. But he knew he needed to eat. JC did the same.”
“I wonder, all the time, why he died. If I knew that, if I knew what happened, I could stop thinking about him. He was fine one day and the next he went up to the cabin and killed himself. I truly believe he was fine when he drove away from Harper’s Rock that day. What happened in those few hours before he pulled the trigger.”
Trevor reached over, tentatively, and touched his hand. “Maybe you should go talk to the Harpers. Maybe they can help you.”
“But they don’t know,” he whispered.
“But maybe the mutual hurt, their mutual questions can help you. It would be worth a shot.”
“I don’t know if I can.”
Trevor looked away, over at another couple walking along the main beach. “You’ll have to eventually. Sooner rather than later please.”
“You’re going to walk away after all aren’t you?”
Trevor was quiet, trying to control his breathing. “No. I love you and I’ll stick by you for as long as I can, but this is the first time I’ve ever been hurt by something you said about Ben. I’m afraid it will become a habit.”
“I’m so sorry. I thought things were getting better, then all of a sudden…”
“All of a sudden you’re doing stuff that you once wanted to do with him and it’s affecting you. I understand, but it still hurts that I’m not the only one on your mind. Do you think of him when we…when we make love?”
“No. I thought only of you and how much I love you and how good you make me feel.”
“Good. Maybe because that is something you and Ben actually did together?”
“Could be. I’ll try not to let you know when this happens in the future. I don’t like hurting you.”
Trevor actually chuckled. “You’re not a very good actor, I can tell when you are upset even if you are trying to hide it. Just promise me that you’ll be open and honest and we’ll talk it out. Okay?”
“Yeah,” JC said, taking Trevor’s hand and kissing his palm. “I promise.” But he knew from that point on he would do everything he could do to be a better actor. He couldn’t stand the thought of hurting the man he loved that much.
EXCERPT CHAPTER 1 - LETTING GO
INTRODUCING LETTING GO - How do you move on when your heart is shattered in a single, tragic moment?
James Croft fell for his one true love in high school, only to lose him to suicide. How can he move on from the tragic moment that irrevocably changed his life?
Dr. Trevor Alexander lives for his career, until the day his former patient’s angry, disillusioned father walks back into his life. Suddenly, Trevor wants more.
Desperate to put the past behind him, James reluctantly decides to date the sexy doctor. But maintaining a relationship is easier said than done. Can James come to terms with his past? Can Trevor accept what his lover can never forget?
They must try, because there’s no future in the past. PREORDER: https://www.amazon.com/Letting-One-More-Chance-Book-ebook/dp/B077WV3GWH
At thirty-two, after having been married and raising two kids, all the men who packed the crowded club seemed like babies to him. There had to be another way to meet someone. Maybe he should wait and let things fall where they may. There was bound to be a gay man at the golf course, at the gym, or hell, even at the supermarket, wasn’t there?
The minute a leather clad man with nipple piercings approached him, he turned and fled the building, bumping into Martin as he hurried outside.
“Whoa, where do you think you’re going?” Martin asked, reaching for his arm to turn him back toward the bar.
“This is not my scene, man, “JC said, jerking his arm away. “I’m not going back in there so a leather clad freak can hit on me.”
“I thought you wanted to have some fun!” Martin pouted. “This is the perfect place to let loose and get back into the groove.”
“This is not the groove I want to get into. I’ll take my chances at the supermarket.”
Martin stuck his nose in the air and turned away from JC. After a minute he turned back to him, leveling a haughty gaze at his friend. “Fine! Let’s just go to the boring bar and have a couple of drinks. Nothing going on there but playing pool and…and conversation!” With a look of disgust, he grabbed JC’s arm and dragged him down the street.
The outside of the bar was nice and pretty unassuming. It was an older building that spoke of many generations past, back when Denver had a western flare. It wasn’t one of the new, modern buildings that seemed to have overtaken the city. Except for the name lit up in bright green neon above the door, you would almost move past it without knowing it was even there. “Come on, Mr. Stick in the Mud,” Martin mumbled. “Let’s get this over with.”
“Are you sure this is the right kind of bar?” JC asked as they stepped inside. But he immediately knew he needn’t have asked that question. The long wood bar was crowded with males from every walk of life – from suits to battered jeans and work boots, it was a veritable buffet of men.
Tables were scattered around the back of the room but only one of them was in use. A group of men in dress clothes sat around a rectangular one laughing and joking. The man who held court at the head of the table made JC’s stomach lurch. Dr. Trevor Alexander…the man who had let his daughter die.
“You son of a bitch! You’re lying. What the hell did you do to my daughter?” All JC could hear was his racing heart. All he could see was the room spinning and blurring before him. He had to regain control.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Croft…”
Rage built inside JC and he could no longer control it. The asshole standing in front of him said his Abby was dying. She’d been fine just an hour before. “What the hell did you do to my daughter,” he repeated, stepping toward the doctor. His wife’s firm grip on his arm was the only thing that kept him from wrapping his hands around the man’s throat and putting him in the same state his daughter was in. His Abigail was dying and it was all Dr. Alexander’s fault.
“Are you okay?” Martin asked when he noticed his friend’s startled expression.
“Yeah…uh, yeah. I’m fine. Let’s grab a table.” The memory still haunted him from time to time and now with the good doctor mere feet away, he hadn’t been able to stop it. Why was that son of a bitch still happy and breathing?
“We’d better do it now; this place will be getting overrun in about a half-hour.”
The two men sat across from each other making sure to let anyone who may be watching know that they weren’t there together. A waiter in tight jeans and a painted-on t-shirt hurried over to them, his look of boredom quickly fading to be replaced by a genuine smile. “My name is Patrick. I’ll be grabbing your drinks tonight. What can I get for you?”
“I’ll have a beer,” JC murmured. “Whatever’s cold and in a bottle.”
“And you?” The waiter asked with an extra special smile to Martin. “What can I get you?”
“I’ll have the same…and hurry back, I’m really thirsty.”
The waiter winked at Martin and headed for the bar.
“Well it looks like at least one of us is going to get lucky tonight,” JC chuckled, his eyes periodically moving to the table across the room. Not that he was there specifically for a one night stand – he wanted to meet someone he could get to know. One night stands were not on his radar anymore.
Martin huffed and shrugged. “I’m here to get you laid, not myself…but if it happens, I won’t complain,” he chuckled. “And you seem to have set your sights on that amazing specimen of a man over at that other table.”
JC quickly brought his gaze back from across the room. “Him? No way in Hell!”
“Oh? Do you know him?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I do,” JC said softly. “He was the doctor who worked on Abigail in the ER.” And as Martin opened his mouth to speak, James put his hand up. “I know, I know, he didn’t kill Abigail. But you know what? It sure as hell feels that way when someone tells you that there is nothing more that they can do and that your four-year-old child will probably not make it through the night.”
“If you truly know that, then you should have nothing against him,” Martin said, matter-of-fact. “He’s hot, you’re hot. He’s gay, you’re gay. I don’t see the problem. Go over and reintroduce yourself.”
JC warred with the thoughts going through his head. A very small part of him knew that Martin was right, but he couldn’t… “Nah, I said some pretty nasty things the last time I saw him, besides last he knew Jenny and I were happily married. He thinks I’m straight.”
“If you ask me,” Martin said, tossing his head. “That gives you two even more to talk about. I’ve got a good feeling about this.”
“No,” JC snarled.
The bar quickly started to fill up just as Martin had said it would. Very attractive men were everywhere, and JC knew he could probably have his pick. But the moment he’d walked in and seen the doctor he’d lost interest in the whole evening. In two short days, it would be the eighth anniversary of his baby girl’s death.
Beer after beer, he sat and alternated between talking with Martin and looking over at the good doctor and his friends. Martin was right about one thing; Trevor Alexander was hot as hell! He hadn’t been in a position to notice that before. Even in his stuffy clothes, JC could see how taught and perfectly formed his body was. The way his muscles stretched his dress shirt was practically sinful. But he wasn’t interested in that particular sin.
NEW RELEASE: FINDING FORGIVENESS BY JJ ELLIS
Title: Finding Forgiveness
Series: Baby Boomer Love Story Book 1
Author: JJ Ellis
Cover Design: Jaimee Ellis
Available: October 17, 2017
Finding Forgiveness is the first book in a new series from romance author JJ Ellis. She explores second chances at mature ages where love can be just as deep and even more passionate. Nick and Anna are in their early fifties when their second chance comes calling whether they want it to or not.
A national tragedy destroyed his family.
An abusive relationship destroyed her self-esteem.
A rekindled love begins to heal two broken souls.
But will it be enough for Nick and Anna to find forgiveness?
Available in ebook at:
Available in paperback at:
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
JJ Ellis is first and foremost a mom to five kids, four girls and one boy, ranging in age from 6-22. After that, she is a physically limited wife, blogger and now an author. She holds a degree in Communication Studies (Public Relations) from the University of Nevada, Las Vegas but never thought she would choose writing as a career, especially at the age of 42. She once wanted to be a publicist in the entertainment industry, but never a writer. Then one day when she was in her mid-thirties she was going through what can only be described as an early 'midlife crisis' and ideas just started to come to her and she felt compelled to write them down. She finished her first book relatively quickly, but life got in the way and it took her eight years to revisit it and then publish her first novel. She can honestly say that now she is finally right where she wants to be.
JJ has been married to her college sweetheart (and romance novel hero) for twenty-one years and they reside in Casper, WY with their kids and one crazy mutt named Kreuger. She enjoys reading, writing, blogging, computing, and graphic design. She will try anything that will allow her creativity to be released.
AUTHOR LINKS
http://www.jjellis.com
https://www.facebook.com/writerjjellis
https://www.twitter.com/authorjj
http://authorjjellis.tumblr.com/
SNEAK PEEK: FINDING FORGIVENESS - A BABY BOOMER LOVE STORY BOOK 1
Hey everybody! Long time no see. I've been busy working on my career but not posting here. I hope to have a lot for you in 2018. Right now, I think I will manage one novel this year and I am so excited to bring it to you. It is another Baby Boomer Romance called Finding Forgiveness! Here is a sneak peek at the prologue. Enjoy!!!
June 21, 2005
I haven’t written in here at all over the last month. Life has become Hell on earth. On my birthday I received the best present ever, or at least that is what my mom says it will become.
With the afternoon PTA meeting at Lexi’s school canceled, I went home to grab a quick bite to eat before volunteering at the food bank. I heard a noise coming from the back of the house; moans and a high-pitched, muffled squealing coming from my bedroom. At that point, I knew what I would find so I grabbed my little digital camera from my purse and opened the door. Right there in front of me, my husband of twenty years was face fucking a blonde almost half his age. He was the one moaning and she was the one with the muffled squeal. I was the one who snapped a bunch of pictures, screamed and ran from the room. I had about ten good photos before they even knew I was there.
So, now I’m getting a divorce. We’re still in negotiations but it seems if my memories and the pictures I snapped stay hidden I will get to live in our house with the kids. I will also get to go back to nursing school full time, free of charge. And Georgie poo will live in a condo somewhere downtown. I'm pretty sure I can live with that. It's better than all the face fuckings that his girlfriend Heather now has to live with!
PROLOGUE
June 21, 2005
I haven’t written in here at all over the last month. Life has become Hell on earth. On my birthday I received the best present ever, or at least that is what my mom says it will become.
With the afternoon PTA meeting at Lexi’s school canceled, I went home to grab a quick bite to eat before volunteering at the food bank. I heard a noise coming from the back of the house; moans and a high-pitched, muffled squealing coming from my bedroom. At that point, I knew what I would find so I grabbed my little digital camera from my purse and opened the door. Right there in front of me, my husband of twenty years was face fucking a blonde almost half his age. He was the one moaning and she was the one with the muffled squeal. I was the one who snapped a bunch of pictures, screamed and ran from the room. I had about ten good photos before they even knew I was there.
So, now I’m getting a divorce. We’re still in negotiations but it seems if my memories and the pictures I snapped stay hidden I will get to live in our house with the kids. I will also get to go back to nursing school full time, free of charge. And Georgie poo will live in a condo somewhere downtown. I'm pretty sure I can live with that. It's better than all the face fuckings that his girlfriend Heather now has to live with!
Stay tuned for the cover reveal on September 27th. Release date is still TBA but should be in October.
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