Here is an excerpt from Chapter 2 of Anguish. We are now getting into the depression part of the story. Ben has a unique, mature, yet injured mind that gives him wishes and thoughts that might shock others.
Please, if you are having a hard time, are battling depression and/or anxiety or need help with your mental health in some way, reach out. There are doctors, friends, teachers, and organizations that are there to help you. Don't give up!
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“Hey kiddo, you okay? You’ve been up here for quite a while.”
His trademark bright grin lit his face and he leapt up off the bed. “I’m fine! I talked to JC and read for a while,” he said, pointing to the open book on his bed. “Is it dinner time? I’m starving.”
Evelyn Harper smiled at her son. She was glad to see him being his usual self despite the fact that he wouldn’t be playing football this year. “Well, since your dad is working the late shift, I figured you, your brothers and I could go have dinner with him then catch a movie.”
Free pizza and movies were one advantage of his parents owning the local entertainment hub, Movie and a Pizza Place. Not that he was really in the mood for it now. “Sure, that sounds great. Just let me go to the bathroom first.”
Ben hurried out of the room, more to gather his scattered thoughts than to go to the bathroom.
“Oh son,” Evelyn called after him. “You’ll have to use my bathroom. There’s something wrong with your toilet.”
He backtracked to his parent’s bedroom and hurried through to the bathroom. After deciding to use the facilities after all, he stood in front of the sink washing his hands and looking in the mirror. A sudden glint of metal caught his eye and after drying his hands, he picked up his dad’s straight razor, an antique for sure. Twirling it around between his fingers, he felt his heart beat calm. He’d often wondered what the rush of pain and lost blood would feel like as the sharp blade guided over his skin.
“Bennie, hurry up. I have to pee before we go too,” came Dylan’s voice from beyond the bathroom door.
Ben set the razor gently on the counter and turned to the door, releasing the lock. “Come on in, brat.”
“What was taking you so long?” Dylan asked as he hurried over to the toilet.
Ben was back at the sink, looking at himself in the mirror. “I was thinking I might try out Dad’s razor,”
Dylan laughed and tried to push Ben out of the way so he could wash his own hands. “You’d probably cut your head off with Dad’s razor.”
“Yeah brat, you’re probably right.” At least then he’d know what it felt like…
“Don’t call me brat,” Dylan pouted.
“It just means I love you,” Ben chuckled. “Now if I stop calling you brat, then you can be upset. Come on, let’s go.” He ushered his youngest brother out of their parents’ bedroom suite and into the hallway where the rest of their siblings joined them.
“Come on boys. Dad takes his dinner break in half an hour.” The brothers tramped down the stairs with Ben in the lead, his bright smile shining like a beacon to light their way.
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