EXCERPT CHAPTER 7 - LETTING GO

Here is an excerpt from Chapter 7. This is the turning point in JC and Trevor's relationship. This will be the last excerpt before releasing on January 16th! I hope you'll grab a copy. AMAZON
OTHER RETAILERS

Holiday preparations went on as December started and by the time the kids were out of school for winter break, everyone was looking forward to their first Christmas together.
The last day of school for JC and the kids was December 18th. After classes, JC drove them home to find Trevor sitting quietly on the couch waiting.
“What’s wrong?” JC asked, sitting next to his boyfriend. There was something bad definitely going on.
“Is your phone off?”
JC took his phone out of his pocket and checked. “The battery died. Why, Trevor? What’s going on.”
Trevor looked at him, his eyes clouded with worry. “Your dad was trying to call you. He called me instead. I’m so sorry, James.”
“What?”
“Your mother was killed by a drunk driver last night.”
“Huh…” he said, leaning back against the couch. “I…I’m not sure what to think.”
“I’m sorry. I can’t imagine…you should call your dad,” he said, handing over his phone.
“Yeah…okay.” James walked stunned into the kitchen and dialed his father.
“Hello,” Cameron Croft answered.
“Hey, Dad. I just got the message.”
“Yeah, I tried calling your phone but…”
“My phone’s battery died,” he said softly. “What happened?”
Cameron Croft turned off the television show he was watching and sat quietly in his chair. “She was crossing the street in front of your aunt’s house and a drunk driver hit her. He was going forty in a twenty-five.
“God! I’m not sure what to say or to feel.”
“I know the feeling son. I was married to her for so many years, but I can’t bring myself to feel like I think I should. I mean, I’m sorry she’s dead but…I just don’t know.”

“Yeah. I feel the same. I guess I should come back for the service. Do they have anything planned yet?” He knew his mother’s family always had the service planned as soon as possible.
“Yeah, It’s the 21st at ten a.m. in Sheridan. If you come here and get me we can go together.”
“I…I don’t know if I can, Dad. Can I meet you there?”
“Yeah son, but it might help if you come home. You could go to his family or even to the cemetery and say goodbye.”
“I know I should, but…but I just can’t. Not yet.”
“Okay,” Cameron said quietly. “I won’t push you. I’ll see you in Sheridan. Maybe we can have lunch after the funeral.”
“You know we will,” James said with a smile. “I’ll see you soon, Dad. I love you.”
“I love you too, son.”
JC hung up the phone and wandered back out to the front room where Trevor was talking to his sons. They still didn’t know about their grandmother because they were shoveling snow when JC had come inside. “Hey, boys. I just talked to Grandpa Croft. Your grandmother passed away last night. She was hit by a drunk driver.”
“Wow,” Michael whispered.
“I’m sorry, Dad,” Benjamin said. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, son. Just in shock a little bit. I’ll be going to the funeral. I’ll leave the day after tomorrow and head down.”
“Do you want us to come,” Trevor asked, quietly.
“No. I’d appreciate it if you could stay here with the boys. I don’t want them to have to be subjected to all of the crap from Mom’s family.”
“Okay.”
JC started to walk from the room to call Jenny then turned back. “Let’s go out to eat tonight. I don’t feel like cooking. I’ll be ready in a few minutes.”
Dinner and the time at home after were somber as everyone struggled with their own thoughts and feelings on the Tragedy. Trevor wasn’t sure how JC was truly reacting, so he just watched and tried to play along. By the time they headed upstairs to bed he wasn’t sure how to approach things. Should he try to get him to talk or let JC make the first move?
“Is there anything I can do?” Trevor was in bed when JC finished up in the bathroom.
“I’m not sure. I don’t know what the fuck to feel. I know I should be sad but I’m not sure I can be. I loved her once, but now…I just don’t fucking know.”
“I’m sorry,” Trevor murmured, holding his arms open.
JC moved into them and buried his head in his shoulder. “I feel so guilty,” he finally murmured.

“Are you sure you want to go alone. I’d be glad to come with you.”
JC pulled away and moved onto his back. “I’m sure…I don’t want you exposed to her hate or her family’s disdain. It would only serve to tarnish our relationship.”
“Okay,” Trevor agreed. “But maybe while you’re there you should stop in Harper’s Rock and say goodbye to someone else.”
“You sound like my Dad,” JC complained. “I just don’t know if I can.”
“Why not?”
JC turned away from him. “I’m scared, and it’s too painful.”
Trevor reached out and touched his back. “You need to do it…for us. For our future. Please.”
“Okay,” JC whispered. “Goodnight Trev.”
“Goodnight James. I love you.”
“I love you too.”

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